Finally Making a Change


I have finally decided to make a change. I have been telling myself for so long that I need to do something to change myself. I have been thinking a lot lately about my life and where it is going. I was not happy with it so I finally did something about it. In the past I would listen to the voice inside my head and did whatever to please ED*. But, not now. I am doing what is best for ME and no one else. It is ridiculous how long it has taken for me to realize how much damage I have caused my body. Both mentally and physically.
If you have been following me, you will know that I am struggling with an injury I have had for about 8 months now. For a long time doctors could not figure out what was wrong…I had x-rays, a bone scan, and an MRI. It has been a very frustrating 8 months. I never really gave myself full rest. I stopped running for a while and just did upper body then I got back into trying to do cardio and legs. MISTAKE after MISTAKE! So now I have done some research and I think I have tendinosis in both high hamstrings. My trainer here at school ( I used to run for my college) believes that is the case also. For the past few days I have just been doing upper body lifting, but I have come to find that I think even doing upper body impacts my injury. So today after I lifted I decided to finally take a FULL exercise break. This is something my body has been craving for so long now. There is a part of me that think I do not need this, but deep down I know I do. My first goal is 5 days then hopefully a week and I will go from there.

This is going to be very hard mentally for me for many reasons, especially ED. But it is time to let him go and do what is best for me. I worry about my body changing and food but I know that there is no need for that. It will be in the back of my head, but I am going to chose to ignore and do what is best. Which is rest and to nourish my body fully.
I am hoping to do more posting on my blog and now that I have more time hopefully I will! Check back for updates and other posts. Hope all is well.

*Eating disorder


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