Feeling out of control

Happy Tuesday! I have another blog post for you guys. I hope you enjoy it!

As I have gone through recovery there have been many ups and downs. I have finally dropped ED rules and have allowed myself to eat and do things I would not allow back in my ED. For example, when I was deep in my ED I would have rules as to when I would allow myself to eat. Also, I had a ton of “fear foods” that I would not eat. Now that I am breaking these rules there is some struggles that I find myself dealing with. When I eat foods I have not in a while that I have been craving so long I tend to eat a lot and feel almost out of control. It feels so good to finally be able to eat the foods I have wanted for so long, but it does not feel good to have a feeling of out of control. But maybe it is not actually a feeling of out control, but the way my body needs to recover. Sometimes it is perfectly fine to eat over fullness. It is okay to over eat. It is a part of living and being human.

After talking with one of my best friends, my mind is a little bit more at ease. We discussed that this is a part of recovery, which, I agree with. I have to keep going in order for things to move forward. I wont let this scare me into restrictive behaviors again. I fully believe that things will balance out. For example, this weekend my boy friends and I went out to lunch before we went to see The Choice. On the table there was a card with their seasonal specials. There was this amazing and yummy looking salad on it. All of a sudden I was craving a salad.

salad
Warm Kale Salad: black kale, baby potatoes, chicken, cranberries, almonds, and a brown butter vinaigrette!

The past few months when I have gone out to eat I have usually gotten something not so “healthy”. I love carbs so I usually go for something like that. But I think this is just an example of how things are slowly balancing out. I then proceeded to get a big yummy bowl of ice cream after this. That is freedom right there. I did not plan on having the ice cream or plan my day of eating around it. Before the movie we had time to kill so we went to get ice cream. Being spontaneous with my food choices and experiences is something I am loving and working on. It makes life so much more exciting.

ice ceram

Sea Salt Caramel Ice Cream-So good!

Have you ever dealt with the feeling of out of control after restrictive eating?

Have you seen The Choice yet?

 

Have a great day!

❤ Hayls

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7 thoughts on “Feeling out of control

  1. Lyss

    I love this post Hayls ❤ I am so proud of you and I have felt that feeling of not being in control and being scared of all the change that recovery is bringing me. But you are doing amazing-we can both get through these little bumps in the road together! Love ya girl ❤

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  2. Emmy

    I totally understand where you are coming from. Some days I crave a ton of veggies and others I crave all packaged food. My body or health has not changed drastically because of it and I am learning to honor my cravings more so when I am not craving the “healthiest” meal. So glad you pointed this out!

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  3. Pingback: Link Love 2/21/16 – Blissful Lyss

  4. gracefulcoffee

    I can totally relate! After I started allowing myself to have what I was craving I felt like I had to eat massive amounts of it. I think it’s just my body being so happy, it’s finally getting what it’s been wanting for so long. That ice cream looks amazing! So proud of you for being spontaneous ❤

    Blessings,
    Edye // Gracefulcoffee

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  5. Emily Swanson

    YES. I often struggle with that when I eat a burger instead of a salad or eat when I’m not ‘supposed to.’ I’m not sure where those rules came from, but God is so graciously freeing me from each of these self-imposed rules and showing me that it’s so much more freeing to follow Him and to enjoy all of His food that He’s made.

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  6. priceofahealthylife

    Sometimes I feel like it is because we deprived our bodies- and our minds- of certain foods for SO long that we are playing catch-up. Honoring those cravings is insanely important, and you’re doing just that! Have a great day 😊

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